bharat darshan

my mom calls my Arkapalli visits my Bharat darshan. well in many ways it is the most apt thing to call it. every time i go i end up seeing new angles to things. i had gone to Arkapalli last weekend to attend a marriage there. on the way to Arkapalli Anurag and i were talking and he said " I'm just thinking about how funny things are. you sit and think about your room. how it should be what all you should have; i think that if i only have a room to myself its enough. a person in these areas would think if i only had a proper room for my whole family." I've always always wondered who makes these differences? who decides who gets what and who lives how? if we are all the same... then how come such not-so-subtle and distinct differences exist?

the wedding... well it was an interesting event, as with everything else in India, the ceremony was different from the various wedding ceremonies i have seen so far. nothing ever occurs in t he same way throughout India. we couldn't have lunch there. the crowd was... my friends decided that they couldn't stand it all. for us... it was an alien atmosphere. things are so different there. so different from the world we are used to. why does life become cruder as you go down the social ladder? lives become cruder, their worlds go cruder.

then on the way back... we had to travel a stretch through a 7 seater auto. another girl and i were sitting at the rear facing the back. there were some people on bikes who kept following us for a while (i slept off soon and so didn't know how long!). what is it with men? is this all there is to their field of view? no, I'm not blaming them all. but every now and then i come across some specimen, or some incident and i cant help but... scream out at the whole lot! get a life!!!

there was more to our journey that day. we caught a bus at kalwakurthi. as the bus started entering the depot people ran to it and hung from its windows to reserve a seat by throwing kerchiefs in. hot and hungry and sleepy we got in and found seats and sat down. at the next stop all of us were woken up the crowd that got in. for a long time there was non stop bickering and shouting. then there was this one lady who kept pushing into my friend's seat and then kept glaring at her throughout the journey. people always grudge other people their comfort. seems like the biggest failing of human life.

things... are confusing to me as always... i try to analyze ever scene in the film of my life and end up confused and disoriented. reading a lot of Richard Bach now. and his school of thought is very very comforting for me... all i can say is "life is an illusion". everything is illusions. its just how you decide to play it.

"The world
is your exercise-book, the pages
on which you do your sums.
Its not reality,
although you can express reality
there if you wish.
You are also
free to write nonsense,
or lies, or to tear
the pages."

-ILLUSIONS
Richard Bach