hmmm...

"When whisper blossom in thy sleep

How I may upward climb

The Alpine path, so hard, so steep

That leads to heights sublime.

How I may reach that far-off goal

Of true and honored fame

And write upon its shining scroll

A woman's humble name."

A couple of days back my brother casually remarked that were he a girl he would have had so many problems. As he is just in8thh class, I wondered why he made that statement. Then it came out that the girls had restricted dress code for childrens day celebrations at school. I had been through all that ages back... inspite of studying in a girls school!!! The world definitely has two different set of eyes - one for men and another for women!

Fortunately I had the privilege of being brought up as a human being and not as a "female being". My grandmother is a very very inspiring person. She has held many important posts in her life retiring as a vice-chancellor of an esteemed university, and is currently the secretary of the Andhra Pradesh Red Cross at the age of 75. My mom is just as industrious - managing the office, the family and a very very tiresome daughter :-). I wonder how I could have been anything less...

I spent the first 13 or so yrs of my life sheltered in girls schooling... so when I finally entered the world it took me a lot of time and energy to understand that things are not the same out here. I had many a struggle with old teachers and their conservative views. always, at all times I couldn't help but feel that I should show it to them that we aren’t anything less... we aren't willing to be pushed into the corners anymore. I still shock the lab assistants at the college workshop by being the first to volunteer to hammer the iron piece, or by insisting that I carry my equipment to the field while surveying. I unconsciously refuse any kind of helping hand... and reflect upon it later and laugh at the face of the guy extending the hand.

Why is it so difficult for people to accept the fact that sex has nothing to do with a person's ability??? The world isn’t changing... no it is not. Even some of my classmates think that I shouldn’t go out and do everything. I’m hope I’m changing their views... as do some of my other classmates. I have around many female friends who are more capable and intelligent than the men of our age. I don’t see why I should give up all my interests’ just coz a dumb-dumb guy thinks he ought to have all the power!!!

At one time it used to irritate me to come across such obstacles and I would get all frust with life... not anymore (at least I hope so!!!). I can laugh about it now, and do my work with renewed vigor and passion. I cant actually blame just all men... I have male friends who encourage me and who believe in me and gladly give me company in all my mad endeavors. Then again many a female friend has tried to keep me down on the seat, n say don't do this don’t do that...they say this n that!!! If they are satisfied with their lives being so narrow... good for them! but I want all that the world has to offer... I wanna climb my alpine path and live to the best of my abilities. I wanna to see my dreams come true, I wanna work, I wanna help, I wanna sing, I wanna dance!!! Why??? Because I don't see why I shouldn't live life on my terms by my rules... and I don’t see why I shouldn’t be allowed to do so. I told Prasad today 'I hate being a part of the crowd and love to do what to something altogether different'...always take the path less trodden by.

I don’t think I’m willing to step down for a world that isn’t really concerned about me but to comment on... there!!! Perhaps my dreams are impractical...but I believe in them. At least I have dreams... what are they??? Keep checking this spot I may put 'em down some day...

p.s - the above stanza is a part from an anonymous poem. i found it in the "alpine path" the auto-biography of l.m.mongomery. a person whose works had a great impact on my life... they brought beauty into it!!! beauty in nature, in truth and in the simple things of life.