je pense... along the godavari

There is something about getting lost in the folds of the inner realms of Mother Nature. Its something that can never be fully appreciated unless felt, touched, seen, smelt in person. The reality is sometimes coarser than in pictures and paintings but is a beauty by itself... "The strength of the hills" really means a lot. Hills - synonymous with long lasting constancy in the world where everything fades with time. Hills - covered with unexplored, naked, natural beauty... The intrusion of man into these areas seems unfair. But then again how fair is it to deprive man of the real original beauty of the world??? Perhaps the old way of exploring.... a small group of people on a wild, adventurous expedition... is the best!!!

Only those who really value what they are about to explore will brave it all. In today's world of commercialization where relaxation is offered on a platter full of holiday postcards, one comes to see something they hardly know how to appreciate. The "oooohhhh.... aaahhhh" at the right places, often missing the finest detail of all, or come to see the most hot spot of the season to be in the flow of things. Looking out for something long after it passed by unnoticed. 

We hardly treat nature with the respect it deserves. With sheer impunity we walk away with all our reckless actions. But wait... everything is being noticed... every paper plate dumped on the river, every plastic cover caught on a branch after a flood, every vibration of the stones due to the blaring music on the launches... everything!!! It will all come back a thousand nay million fold!!! Then we sit and lament about the cruelty of nature and curse all the Gods there are, then again immediately rush back to appease them.

Nothing about nature is ever sharp or angular. Everything is rounded & curved. So it is with all the constructions of old. Any attempts to reconstruct or repair lack that smooth, soft, rounded feel. Its wonderful how the utter lack of symmetry creates the ultimate wonders of nature. There is no organisation... everything is random... but oh so beautifully random. There in lies its charm... the uniqueness in everything. Nothing man made can ever achieve that distinction. Even with all our sophisticated planning we can never reach that level of imperfection!!!

Man is lost in the struggle for survival everywhere and in all ages. But it is different out here... With no technology, no development, and no traces of modern living - one looks at awe at the life here. Why is the presence of technology so important? Since when did it become a prerequisite for proper living? It has become sub-conscious thinking to regard lack of technology as 'primitive'. The outward so called norms of society if violated are only met with pity, disdain and contempt. Whom do we have to satisfy and why??? Who fixed these rules, who decides the ultimate good and bad for the world???

What about natural instincts, inner feelings, quiet joys & happiness??? What about satisfying the soul and having a nice quiet smile??? Where have all the relationships gone that are filled with love, trust & understanding??? Why should every relationship be worked on??? It is not like the days of yore didn’t have their own set of problems... We have tried to work on those problems but have lost somethings that they had. Some things that shouldn’t have been forgotten have been left behind. Can’t we hold onto the past on our march into the future???

But that again must be what evolution is all about... the wheel of time has to keep moving. It doesn’t stop for anyone. But, some times I think that we are only getting poorer with the passage of time survival of the fittest is the name of the game, but who ever said that the fittest was the best???

 

 

deutschland...

I was at the hauptbahnhof earlier this evening watching the second half of the euro cup match between Germany and Portugal at the burger king outlet. The Germans go crazy for football... I had seen them all get decked up for the match earlier. Anything that has German colours - garlands, strange hats, wrist bands... painting their flag colours all over their faces and hands. Ah... then I saw them after the match today... they poured into hauptbahnhof... literally poured in from all the places around where they were watching the match on large screens. they were blowing horns, singing, dancing, jumping, shouting, throwing beer bottles, hugging... everything... looking at them made me also happy... though I don’t know A,B,Cs of fussball and don’t care who won or lost. They got onto trains and jumped up and down shaking the wagons. They stood on platforms singing and shouting... aahh....

then you wonder... weren’t you travelling in an absolutely silent train this morning? Where did all that reserve, calm and quiet go??? hahahah.... Germans!!! They seem anti-social. No one cares about the one around, as in they don’t bother the ones around. Well, they also aren’t talk able in class... but there is one thing or the other that does stand out from within all that silence and primness. A piercing here, a wacky hair do there... its as if that is in defiance to all that reserve. Ah but they are so silent... completely so!

But when they do party... they DO party. They know how to chill out. Its like keeping all that energy inside and bursting out once in a while... and freakishly... after tonight... oh yeah Germans are just as crazy as anyone else... if not more!!! :)

Anne Frank

Anne Frank... When I first read the book way back when I was younger I didnt like it. For a few years when anyone mentioned it I would wonder why it was that famous. When I read it again out of some impulse... I loved it. I understood it better. I could feel the spirit that was reaching out through those pages. Growing up at such a time is so unimaginable for me. It was initially. Even yet the whole reality hit me only when I visited the Anne Frank Huis at amsterdam last week. Those narrow stairways, the small rooms. 8 people living together - stumbling over each other every moment, living under constant fear. What a life!!! What spirit!!!

No one deserves to live that way... It isnt right that we call ourselves civilized when we let such things happen. Its not as if it is different now. Same if not worse atrocities occur all over the world even today. We cant do anything about it. Through out human history we HUMANS have been torturing someone or the other. Then there is a revolution there things become better... Or so we think till something else goes wrong. Did anyone ever imagine there are so many ways in breaking the heart, the soul, the sprirt, the person???

Anne Frank was arrested in August 1944. She died at Auschwitz in March 1945. Auschwitz was liberated in April 1945. When Anna died she believed that her entire family was dead. Her sister had died a few days earlier. Had she known that her father was alive she would have held on... perhaps. What a way to kill the person... killing the reason to live. After all that struggle to live... she just lost the reason to do so any more. Oh world... How can you do this???

Anne is just one among millions... Millions who drown in an ocean of misplaced hatereds and angers. One of the mannnnnnyyyy souls that have a right to live same as the rest of us... The mannnyyy souls with their own special dreams in life... Life! How important it is... How easy to take one...

I am very disturbed by it all... Always was about this topic. We failed you Anne. The world hasn't learned. The world never will... We will not forget perhaps... But we wont do anything about it either. Your smile, Anna, will haunt me for ever!!! It will keep taunting me... We couldnt do anything... and cant do anything. Lovely young girls like you will be sacrificed at the alter of madddd passions and beliefs. I am sorry...

life... live... alive...

There is something about being alone if there is loveliness around you. The weather, the music, the trees, the wind, the food - everything add to the joy and romance of being alone. They add to every mood and every memory. Life is a beautifully mysterious thing. One never knows where one finds a friend, where one finds a smile, where one finds a memory that leaves not till one passes on. Life brings to us just what we need - at the time that we need it and at the time that we are ready for it. There never need any worry about where life is heading to. We just need to live and everything else will be taken care of for us.

Live every moment, live every chance… live every song, live every breath… live every smile and every tear drop… because it is yours. It is all yours… and it will never come back to you once it goes. Live because it is just one life you've got. Live because your life is the only thing that will ever really truly be yours - all yours. No one can take your life - not until you give it to them. Every step taken, every thought that lights up the mind, every word that leaves the lips, every smile that brightens up the moment, every laugh that rides the wind… every turn ever taken every decision ever made is all yours. Just yours. What you make of your life… how you live it is up to you*. No one can have made a choice for you - not truly - coz you chose to listen to them in the first place.

Live - because the world is a better place that you live. The world around you is just waiting to give you the best life possible. Every tree, every flower petal, every drop of water, every little wind-let and every ray of the sun is just waiting to make the best for you to live. Open up your arms and let that world in. Go for long walks and fall in love with yourself... Give up all worries. What you have, you have. What you don't, you don't. You want something - go get it. You've lost something??? Fine! You just didn't try hard enough - you still want it try again... harder. Or maybe it just wasn't ment for you, get up and move on with your life. There are equal amounts of joy and despair in this world. Keep your head screwed on right for both... Keep your heart light enough to come out from both stronger and better... its just one life... live it to the fullest!!! And heres to the best lives that can ever be lived... :)

* a debate with a friend (karan syal) made me realise that... most of what is in the blog is also from reflections after a talk with karan on a train journey. sharing thoughts... even a one sided pouring out shoots out new thought tendrils...

Dear Lady Luck,

I wonder what luck has go to do with anything in the world. Sometimes... when I envy someone I think they are lucky (ok I do give credit to them but sometimesss... only!!!). Then there are times when some people never get anything no matter how hard they try, and I wonder why they have to be so unlucky (are they doing things the wrong way? They can't be - not all the time!!!). Then again is my luck... never been lucky. I think so at least (does everyone do so about their own selves?) So what is this luck all about? Whom does it favor??? Any rule book???

Well... as things go... it is just better to think we get what we deserve, and keep working our asses of for something more that we do want (though why do others around us get it easier??? or may be they work behind their screens...I feel happier knowing they are plain lucky!!! than work harder ;)) There really is nothing free in the world is there??? Everything has to be bought - by time, sweat, brains, work, passion, and sacrifice... Every bit of fame and success has to be paid for in form or the other. Well this isn't wholly from experience...partly from observation.

Then again... how does it matter??? whatever the outcome is... did you enjoy the ride??? If you did it shouldn't bother you. This is one thing I learnt of late. You may have a million plans and dreams and the million and one-th one will come true (obviously nothing else will!!! rule of nature). The best thing is... to forget about the million plans then. And just look back only to think of the fun you had in planing them. The million and one-th one was the best thing for the moment!!! Nothing could have been better (okay I still have trouble thinking this though). capture the moment in your memory book to laugh at later (or just smile to yourself) and move on. Lady luck may not be on your side... Who cares!!! Have fun!!! Just keep up the smile :)

(inspired by the life of a dear friend whose address lady luck has forgotten...)

random thoughts...

sometimes... we never know the true meaning or value of a thing unless we strip it to its last reserve. it is said that only when people are far away do we realize their value... mabbe... its only when we don't have time to watch movies so we miss them... its only when i had to work on a 20seconds ad did i realize how long or even short a second can be. only now do i realize that it is not right to talk about any thing till we get into its soul...

another thing is that... flying off the handle at times of extreme tension and pressure is the easiest way to escape. but at the same time it is the stupidest. 'coz most often it lets out more energy than the situation warranted. i believe that life never makes things difficult. all that credit is just ours.

the best way to discover the world and understand how it evolved or works is to travel. in the off beat, far off, remote places lies the heart of civilization. without knowing the history we can never understand the present reality. what goes behind a race determines where it is heading now. A person who has never faced injustice can never learn to be cautious. looking at things in a detatched, third person point of view does help us understand things better. also to appreciate things better. a person attached to something can never really be its perfect judge. a little ironical of me to say it when i think only close friends have a right to judge me. perhaps the equation is different for people ;)

sometimes it is amazing to realize how life has actually evolved. life crops up in the most amazing of places. i happened to find three small shacks serving eatables et all to vehicles that are stopping at a railway crossing in the middle of a barren land. there was no sign of civilization for miles around. there is so much life n beauty in dry, barren, golden lands that roll by the train window sometimes; same as the lush green fields. life never never ceases to amaze me. the more i discover it the gladder i am that i am ALIVE!!!